“This kind of dog-ate-my-homework excuse, it don’t really fly with the vampires because they sniff that s*** and then they eat you like a f***ing pot pie.” - Lafayette
"Don't kill !$#!# and don't !$#!# with your parents. And I did both." - Tommy
“You hear me, Rene? You keep your ghost hands off my baby!” - Arlene
“You are incapable of love. You are damned. You cannot be saved. You are a creature of death, and the living are only good for one thing, and it is not love.” - Godric
“Oh good, the world needs more beekeepers.” - Bill
“I can put up with a lot, but you f*** with my face, it’s time to die.” - Pam
“As much as I love it, every bad thing that’s ever happened to me is because of sex.” - Jason
“Maybe God’s punishing me for having too much sex. You know, He’s like ‘Jason Stackhouse, you have f***ed too many hot women, now let’s see how you like it.’” - Jason
“Gators love marshmallows. You should know that.” - Sam
“There’s more to you than your worst self. I always knew there was decency in you, even when you were a smug, sarcastic ass.” - Sookie
“Vampires have often found it advantageous to maintain a hidden presence in humanity’s most powerful institutions, and in the 1600s, that was the Catholic church. And today, as you all know, it’s Google and FOX News.” - Bill
Enjoy :)
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